Let's be honest; this is a topic that sparks both curiosity and controversy: Can men and women be "just friends"? It's a question that's intrigued many. There are those who suggest otherwise. Yet, many claim to have strong platonic friendships with the opposite sex. But is it genuinely possible?

To answer this question, we need to unpack some underlying factors. The truth is complex, and psychologists who study relationships and friendships provide conflicting evidence. While it's evident that men and women can be "just friends," it's a complex matter.

So, where does the complexity stem from? Many psychologists point to our innate drive to mate and reproduce as a primary factor.

From an evolutionary perspective, survival favours those who can reproduce and pass on their genes. This process, known as natural selection, leads to specific genes dominating an environment. Attraction plays a pivotal role in this, as without it, there would be no reproduction, no gene passing, and no us. Attraction is not just an emotion; it's essential for our survival.

However, the story isn't that straightforward. Friendships are intricate. Studies interviewing people with close cross-sex friendships reveal that the attraction felt for a friend isn't the same as that for a romantic partner. This nuanced aspect wasn't initially accounted for in the evolutionary biology narrative.

In reality, we are social animals, and our social interactions require a different type of attraction, one not solely focused on reproduction. Researchers have classified types of attraction, including sexual, romantic, and emotional attraction.

Friendship, a platonic emotional bond, falls under emotional attraction. So, friendships are indeed a form of attraction, just not of a sexual nature.

But is zero sexual and romantic attraction all you need for a cross-sex friendship? In theory, yes, but reality can be more complex.

When asked about the benefits of cross-sex friendships, men often mention "sexual attraction and mating desires" as advantages. Some studies suggest that men are more likely to report attraction in these friendships than women. Women, on the other hand, are less likely to report such attractions.
This difference may stem from men and women's varying perspectives about relationships. Women tend to weigh the costs and benefits more, possibly due to the potential nine-month commitment of pregnancy and child-rearing. While sensitive to this imbalance, men might not focus on it when considering potential partners.

So, different types of attraction don't necessarily end these friendships, although they can sometimes pose challenges.

Now, let's add some nuance. The question so far has primarily considered heterosexual, cisgender individuals. What about non-heterosexual or non-cisgender groups?

Studies exploring workplace friendships reveal that individuals with the "same orientation," like gay or bisexual men and heterosexual men and women, form fulfilling friendships. However, lesbian or bisexual women were less likely to have close friendships with anyone in the workplace. Additional research suggests that gay men and lesbian women have fewer same-sex friends than opposite-sex friends.

In summary, if we focus on individuals with compatible sexualities, such as heterosexual men and women, lines can blur at times. Cross-sex friendships are possible, but varying intentions often come into play, making them more challenging. These findings might be explained by human evolution as a species.

However, don't entirely rule out platonic cross-sex friendships. Even though sexual attraction can complicate matters, many living examples support that platonic relationships are possible.