Happiness is one of those things we're all after, right? It's as though society has made it the ultimate prize, the shiny object we're all chasing in one way or another. But have you ever paused to think about how we actually view happiness? 

We're often told what it looks like, where it comes from, and how to find it. In reality, though, happiness seems more like a moving target, forever eluding us no matter how hard we try.

So, what's the deal? Why does it feel like we're constantly running after it but somehow can't seem to catch it? Part of the issue lies in how we're taught to think about happiness. It's often presented as this big, grand goal, like winning a trophy or hitting a perfect score. We're led to believe that once we've got it all — a great job, a nice house, the right partner, and a full Instagram feed — we'll just be happy. But life's a bit messier than that, isn't it?

How often have you caught yourself thinking, "I'd be so much happier if I just had… this job, that car, a vacation to Bali…"? It's easy to fall into the trap of "if only" thinking. It's like our brains are wired to believe that happiness is somewhere just out of reach, waiting to be unlocked with the right combination of stuff or circumstances.

We get so wrapped up in the "next big thing" that we forget to actually enjoy the moment. The job, the car, the vacation—those are all nice, no doubt. But is happiness really just a string of achievements or possessions? If it were, you'd think everyone with the right stuff would always be beaming with joy. Spoiler alert: They're not. It's easy to scroll through social media or watch a friend's highlight reel and think, "Why doesn't my life look like that?" But no one's life is as perfect as it seems. Happiness isn't one-size-fits-all, yet we're all trying to squeeze ourselves into moulds that don't quite fit.

When we compare ourselves to others, we end up setting unrealistic standards, constantly feeling inadequate. It's like trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans, you know are two sizes too small. You'll be uncomfortable, and it won't bring you happiness.

Here's where things get really interesting: There's this myth that happiness is a permanent state we can achieve. The idea that once we've hit the perfect life, we'll float around in a bubble of joy forever. But the truth is, happiness is a bit like the weather. Some days are sunny, some days are cloudy, and some days... well, they're just plain stormy.

Trying to make happiness a constant state is a bit like trying to catch the wind—it's a beautiful idea but practically impossible.

Expectations are also a huge factor in how we experience happiness. We often expect life to look a certain way: we should be constantly happy, never sad, always excited, and never bored. But that's not how life works. If we expect happiness to look like a never-ending rollercoaster ride of thrills, we're setting ourselves up for disappointment.

The truth is, happiness should be about learning how to ride the ups and downs without getting stuck in either extreme. It's about finding contentment in the quiet moments, accepting the tough ones, and not letting either define our existence. It's not about escaping the bad moments; it's about learning to live with them and appreciating the good ones when they come around.

What if, instead of chasing happiness, we focused on creating meaning in our lives? Think about it. When we focus on things that matter—relationships, personal growth, or contributing to something bigger than ourselves—we often end up feeling happier as a byproduct.

It's not about having the best job or the perfect family; it's about finding value and fulfilment in what we do. Maybe it's helping someone in need, making time for a hobby, or simply being present with the people who matter most. Perhaps these are the things that can bring a deeper, more lasting sense of happiness—one that doesn't come from a picture-perfect life but from a life that feels rich with meaning.

There's a trap that happens when we overemphasise happiness. It's easy to fall into the belief that if we're not happy all the time, something is wrong. But feeling sad, frustrated, or even bored at times is not only normal; it's part of the human experience. Happiness isn't about running from those feelings; it's about embracing the full spectrum of emotions we experience as humans. The pursuit of happiness should be less about constant joy and more about accepting and learning from our emotions.

So, what's the real secret to happiness? What if there isn't one. Maybe happiness is found in the everyday moments, in the relationships we build, and in the way we approach life. It's about letting go of the idea that we have to be happy all the time and instead learn to find joy in the small things.

If we stop viewing happiness as a destination and start seeing it as a journey—something we cultivate, not just achieve—we'll realise it's already around us, ready to be experienced. Happiness isn't about "having it all"; it's about appreciating what you have, being present, and finding fulfilment in the here and now.

At the end of the day, happiness shouldn't be something to chase—it's something to allow. It's about embracing who we are and where we are and making peace with the fact that life isn't always going to be perfect. Maybe happiness isn't about constantly reaching for the next best thing. Maybe it's about recognising that we've already got what we need to feel it—right here, right now.